Tuesday, February 4, 2014
As I was growing up, I've witnessed a number of interpersonal conflicts within my circle of friends and when this topic came up, I recalled an incident that happened during my secondary school days. My friends 'A' and 'B' were taking some worksheets from our class monitor one day and 'B' was tapping 'A' constantly to ask 'A' to get a set for him. 'A' felt irritated and shoved his hand away and said 'Go away!' in a very irritated tone. A few other classmates, including me also jeered 'B' as he always makes us do things for him.
Things escalated quickly and 'A' and 'B' argued very loudly after that and hence 'B' started pushed tables and chairs down to vent his anger. 'B' was pretty big in size so he was pretty scary. But, some of the classmates, including me tried to stop 'B' by telling him to stop acting like a kid and throw things around because we have seen a few incidents where 'B' lost his temper. He felt even more angry that we were all against him and started shouting to me about not being a true friend. I calmly said, ' It's because I treat you as a friend that was why I want you to stop acting like that now. Whats the point in throwing all the chairs and table like this? He already apologized to you already. Just let it go.' He stormed off after that but strangely he came back and helped to put back all the chairs and tables with us. He also said sorry to everyone else for shouting like that.
I felt that I handled this situation quite well, even though I felt that if we did not stereotyped him as a bully all the time, this misunderstanding and conflict would not be present in the first place.However, I feel that it is situations like this that help me handle workplace conflicts as this is something that is bound to happen in some point of my career. I feel that if we did not stereotyped him as a bully all the time, this misunderstanding and conflict would not be present in the first place.
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Interesting post on an incident that made you realise something about why we should not stereotype people. However, what do you think was the issue with 'B'- why do you think he was acting that way- feelings of insecurity perhaps?
ReplyDeleteI have known 'B' since primary school. His behavior in school may have constituted to becoming insecure. Furthermore, he may have felt isolated and lonely and this misunderstanding caused him to flare up, thinking that no one cares about him.
DeleteBringing this incident to the professional job arena, it is possible to encounter colleagues who do take advantage of situations. Along with such attitude, I have personally met people who further justify their actions as self-survival. How then does an individual handle such situation? It is definitely a challenge to maintain relationships with one who works against your interest. Especially when the boundaries of right and wrong are blurred. To personally choose to spend time and effort to understand his position is an option I might consider doing if the situation allows, but often, the person's actions may already make me dread the initial cost of spending time with him. Furthermore, for the majority of jobs, maintaining a professional relationship might be a wise option to take, due to the many complications that are involved with personal friendships.
ReplyDeleteShort yet sufficient description about the situation, And you have done right of calmly persuading him, but right before that, you mention, "But, some of the classmates, including me tried to stop 'B' by telling him to stop acting like a kid ...", I think this could have cause a even worse situation, the classmates, maybe including you are actually attack him personally. So, yes, a good example of stereotyping people. Nice post.
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